26/1/2026 Lazy Sundays

Papa Tom invited me to join him in church today, but I don't have a great deal of time or faith in god since he took Si away from me, or even before that actually . I am consumed with such an intense burning rage at the unfairness of it all, and I couldn't go to church and pretend I'm ok with it all because what I really want to do is punch something. The potential for losing my shit is far too high, and Papa Tom is a nice old man. The healing and blessing he gave me was incredible, it is something I won't ever forget, and I feel lighter for it. But god? Nope i cant get on board with that sorry, he/she/it can feck orf. And when it gets there it can feck orf again. I  did in honesty  for all of  a nano second think it might be a nice experience. I'd been told by the ladies who were here for their aunties funeral, that Island Church services were very different from what they were used to, which sounded very much like my experiences.  They said that their aunties funeral was the most joyful and uplifting thing they'd ever been to and they'd been told that it wasn't any different to a normal Sunday service.. Nope, still not on board.. 

Instead I had a gallon of coffee,  a lovely chat with Rita the senior waitress and Abraham the bar man before parking my arse in my sun lounger for the day. It's been a burn your eye out kind of day so I have embraced it fully and also embraced my rage!

The Island shuts down on Sundays so there are no buses running, although the local Kuber and the inter resort bus is running this afternoon. 

I've generally ignored people today, I'm really not feeling them in the slightest. I just want to be left alone, with a punch bag, and a large bottle of something that's a lot stronger  than water.

Some really noisy people arrived at around 1700 and just their voices irritated me, to the point I decided my day in the sun was done. I returned to the peace of my room and thought I'd try the tv again, to see if they had increased the channels in the two weeks since I've been here.  Nope,  they haven't, there is still just the one single channel and a few radio stations on offer and the channel that is available had a lot of snowy interference on it which fried my little brain cell. Thankfully being close to the restaurant I was able to appreciate the band that were playing and the beautiful singing of the staff choir. There wasn't one song that upset me so I've put it down as a win for today.

Much Love

Mrs Leonard

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