21/4/2026 last day in Kohimarama and St Heliers

Really bad night last night so much so I was back down the beach at 2230 so try and settle my anxiety.  I’d tried everything else but nothing was working so getting out of the unit and down to the beach was the best idea. The waves lapping at the beach certainly soothed the jangled nerves somewhat so much so I decided to go for a swim . I didn’t have my swimmers with me so I went in my clothes. It seemed like such a good idea at the time and it certainly helped calm me down.  I floated on my back for a while just looking at the stars and the moon which was really bright and lit up the bay beautifully. I decided to get out when my peaceful thoughts were invaded by shark thoughts. You have never seen me swim so fast to get to shore . There was a whole lot of splashing involved in that manoeuvre !  

When I got out I realised my error in swimming in my clothes…  there was quite a cool breeze and walking back to the unit dripping wet was not a pleasant experience. It did however have the desired effect and distracted me from my intrusive thoughts so that’s a plus. I was bloody freezing by the time I got back and jumped straight into a hot shower to warm up, thankfully the shower is amazing I discovered it has lights in the rainfall shower head which was amusing to my little brain.  

I dived into bed and thankfully it seemed to have quieted my thoughts and I slept for a few hours. 

This morning was quite misty and when I went for my swim it wasn’t particularly inviting,  the bonus of going in the day time is the changing rooms are open on the beach and I could have a nice hot shower to warm up before walking back to the unit for my breakfast.  

Once I’d eaten it I gathered up the donations for the charity shop, hauled the bag straps over my shoulder and walked up the wooden promenade to St Helier to drop it all off.  As I walked I saw lots of the same people I’ve seen in my walks and swims and I love how they all pass the time of day with a ready smile and words of encouragement to keep me going especially in the slow hard days. I will really miss these walks, so easy, by the ocean the sun beating down on my face as I bumble along.  All good things must come to an end as I discovered when Si died. 

I got to St Heliers and walked to the charity shop with my cast offs. I will be glad to see the back of them having worn the same things for the last few months!  As I crossed over the road I heard a little voice calling “Morgan’s mum” it was Roz from the coffee shop she was sat on a bench in the sunshine having her lunch. I went and joined her and we had a lovely chat. The best news is she and her husband are coming to wales this summer. They are hiring a camper for a few months and touring round ending up in Edinburgh to celebrate her 70th birthday. I would never have put her at that age!! Any way, we’ve exchanged numbers and she’s going to come and stay, I offered her a bed but she said that as they’ll have the van she’ll be happy with somewhere to park it, so we’ll do something nice when she comes. I’m sworn to secrecy about her trip, she’s told work she’s finishing, but as she’s got 6 weeks to work asked me to not tell Morgan as it’s a long time for people to be asking about it and she doesn’t want to piss off her work colleagues with customers asking about it.  So my lips are sealed . I mean technically I haven’t told a soul, writing it on the blog doesn’t count!  

I left her to her lunch and delivered the bag of stuff for which they were very grateful, before heading to the cash point for some cash.  The machine wouldn’t take my card and kept coming up saying that the card slot was security protected. There was a man waiting to use it so I asked him to I give it a go with his card incase it was just me being stupid and doing something wrong. I was relieved when his card wouldn’t go in either. On the opposite side of the road, which I’d walked straight past without even seeing it almost every day since I’ve been here, was an ANZ cash point  so I tried that. This time the card slot was lit up green and the card went in. Even better it gave me money as well!  Bonus.  With that tucked in my purse I went and got my nails done. The full works, toes fingers massage chair and hot stone leg massage. I figured I deserved a treat.  Nails all look respectable and quite pretty so that’s something!  

From the nail salon I went into St Heliers Mall and managed to find some unusual little cards. I wanted to leave Ros and Josh and the rest of the staff in the St Heliers Bakery a tip and also thank them for being so kind. Which is why I needed the cash.  The cards were just what I was looking for so having paid I went back down the beach to write what I wanted to say inside them. The sun has been lovely again today,  and just sitting there with the sun on my face for an hour was divine. 

I checked my watch and scuttled up to the coffee shop so I’d get there and have time to enjoy my last coffee watching the world go by before it closed.  Josh took my order and when he bought it out I gave him the cards. He gave me the biggest of hugs and like everyone else I’ve met along the way told him if he’s in Wales look us up and we’ll put him up for a while.  He and morg are in regular contact outside of work anyway so he’ll have Morgan’s number if he needs a place to stay.  

As I was just about to tuck into my custard tart, Alistair came by and sat down for a chat. I'm glad I’ve seen him before leaving, again like everyone else I’ve met hes lovely and absolutely adores his precious wife Bibi.  We’ve exchanged emails so he may or may not stay in touch. Either way it’s been nice to chat with him as he’s travelled extensively and as a result is a very interesting man.  While we were chatting, Min, the lady who owns the bakery, came out with a gift bag for me containing a kg of coffee beans and a bottle of espresso martini to say Thankyou for their Thankyou cards and my custom. I burst into tears which was a tad embarrassing,  however the snot bubbles I managed to keep under control. I feel I’m winning somewhat. I’m just completely blown away at how kind these people are. I’m  also very grateful to them all for brightening up the bad days, and providing me with somewhere to sit and make friends or just watch the world go by. These are the people I will miss. I’m so glad I gave them the Thankyou cards and at least they know how much I appreciate their kindness.  

Alister stayed awhile longer but then had to get back to Bibi so he gave me a hug and wished me safe travels. The hug finished me off. Thank god for huge sunglasses and tissues is all I can say.  

My coffee and cake consumed,  I took my empty cup into the shop and said goodbye to them all. Hugs all around again, and more tears from me FFS. Utter melt that I am.  

I’d planned to walk back but the gift bag was heavier than I expected and I decided to get the bus instead and it pulled up just as I got to the stop.  It was definitely a good decision because I was frightened of smashing the espresso martini before I got it home.  When I got off the bus I went and sat in the bench by the beach and just sat there watching the waves, clouds and trying to burn all the sights and sounds into my brain so I can recall it all in the darker moments that will surely come and hopefully regain the sense of calm and peace being by the ocean gives me.  

Finally I had to make a move and get back to the unit, and repack my bag. Before packing it properly I had gone through it again and discarded more clothes which I was now very glad about because it’s surprising how much room the coffee and martini takes up. Also the weight increased a bit. I’m still way under my allowances . I checked in yesterday and when I did so I noted that the allowance is 3 x 32kg checked luggage. I’ll be lucky to hit 15! 

Once the bag was packed I zipped it up and put the padlock on and hauled it out to the lounge plonking it by the door. Hopefully I won’t forget it! I then set about packing up the stuff I’m leaving here for Morg, it’s mostly food and toiletries,  but I don’t want to waste them and chuck them in the bin. I know he’ll make good use of it all.  I left the frozen stuff in the freezer until he was ready to leave.  

I had another shower and got ready for him to come and pick me up. As it’s my last night we went out for dinner to La Vista in St Helier and a s ever it didn’t disappoint. We placed our order, strawberry daiquiri for me and a beer for him, red snapper and ‘real prawns’ with green beans capsicum sauce and cous cous to go in my belly and a venison shanks for him. 

As we waited the sun started to set and I shot out of the restaurant to go take a photo. Well lots of photos as usual!  It was stunning,  such a lovely last sunset for me to tuck away in my memories. 

As I watched a lady came by and offered to take a photo of me with the sunset in the background which turned out ok to be fair, and once the sun had sunk I went back to the restaurant.

Thankfully our food hadn’t arrived so I hadn’t delayed our eating. It came a few minutes later and it was all delicious. They’d bought a steak knife for a morg but he didn’t need it the venison fell off the bone and I had a fork full of it and it melted on my tongue.

Bloody delicious. My snapper and prawns was fantastic too cooked to perfection and just the right amount.

When we’d finished they came and asked if everything was ok and did we want to look at the desert menu. Is the pope a catholic?! I spotted a cherry crumble and persuaded morg he should have one too. He wasn’t keen originally and said he’d share mine which I wouldn’t have minded at all,  but when it came he was really glad he had his own as sharing wouldn’t have been enough. Lucky for him his mamma is a pro on desert and very persuasive!  Again delicious!  

Shortly after I having that we got the bill and left,  I’m tired and he’d had a shitty old day in work everything that could have go wrong went wrong and as such tomorrow and Thursday are going to be hell.  Today’s issues were all down to other people but that didn’t improve his mood any. The people are moving in this weekend now instead of two weeks time and there is an awful lot to be done in a very short space of time.  Two mains water leak discoveries today didn’t help as that stopped work for a good few hours while they waited for the water works to come and sort it out. They think it been leaking for a long time and only discovered it when they dug out the tarmac they cut yesterday.  Again not his fault but a frustrating day nevertheless. By the time we’d got back to the truck tonight his mood had lifted although he’s not looking forward to a long day tomorrow.  I took a photo of him beside his truck it’s made many memories for me, and much as he hates it it’s been incredibly useful and mean he hasn’t had to buy a vehicle himself here as Andy allows him to use it for his own benefit and even ours the fuel in.  

He dropped me off and we unloaded the freezer,  which contained more than I thought it would strangely and loaded the bags into his truck. He remembered to bring my bow dry sweatshirt with him thank goodness because I ll be needing that in the morning as it’s a bit chilly! 

With everything that’s his packed away and in his truck we said ta-ra. I’m getting a Bolt to the airport because as I’m flying business as soon as I get there I’ll be whisked through the check in and into the lounge.  There was no hanging about last time before we were ushered through so rather than  him taking the morning of work to get me there drop me off and then Get back to work it seems to me a bol tia more effective plan for all concerned.  I also hate goodbyes so doing it this way is better for me.  I’m going to be a bit wobbly as it is tmrw so having to say goodbye to him at the airport is not going to help me remotely!  Not doing it. I’m refusing to enter the business class lounge with massive snot bubbles and swollen eyes.  Nope nope nopity nope. Not happening. Tonight was hard enough, but he’ll be home soon and that’s something else to look forward to.  I have a list of jobs planned for him too.  

There will be no swims for me tonight I don’t think unless my brain fucks me about again. As the bikini is going in the bin anyway due to it being so rotted and see through, if I do decide to go for a dip it won’t be in my clothes ! But I suspect my New Zealand last swim is done this morning.  

So another quick check around to make sure there is nothing lurking anywhere that needs packing and. It’s a relatively early night. I’m a tad tired so I’m hopefully I’ll sleep.  Two alarms set because the last thing I want is to oversleep. Some sleep would be useful but not sleep for long enough to miss my bolt.  

Another day over and I’m a day closer to joining him. 

Much love 

Mrs Leonard

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